[2014.10.08] JUST FOR FUN: DAYO WONG HAS TIPS FOR THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE

Dayo Wong says that all women fall for the 400 year old Do Min-Joon, while all men are after Sora Aoi.

The ailing Dayo Wong performs until he is drained, exhausted and his mouth is dry

William So, Francis Ng, Vincent Kok, Dayo Wong, Cheung Tat Ming, Sam Lee, Ronald Cheng

Julian Cheung, Eason Chan, Francis Ng
courtesy of mingpao.com

Dayo Wong Tze Wah two nights ago opened his 11 show NO CRAZY NO NORMAL stand up comedy concert series. The ailing Tze Wah did not disappoint. In the first half he talked about the red hot "Occupy Central" political topic. He admitted that he changed the script on the fly as he had to say something. He praised the protesting Hong Kong people for their courage, kindness and peace, criticized the violence as "adults hitting kids". He said, "Leung Chun Ying says that the Police is professional, but throwing tear gas wouldn't be professional?"

Wong Tze Wah's stand up comedy performance has always been a commercial and critical hit. He often liked to make fun out of the pain of everyday life and politics. The recent Occupy Central movement has attracted global attention. Tze Wah opened the show with the China and Hong Kong relationship. He agreed that he had to say something. "I have already prepared the script a year and a half ago, then the government suddenly started the trouble. Originally I didn't want to talk about it, but if I don't I don't feel right!" He cited how the Bhutan Kingdom and its people got along as the blueprint, describing that the people and the government could absolutely be win win.

Speaking of Occupy Central, he said that "87 tear gas bombs were tossed during Occupy Central, which Leung Chun Ying felt were deserved. The police used appropriate force, (Regina) Ip Lau Suk Yee even said that they had weapons, which were umbrellas. Why can't they get along with the people? I understand that the government needs the police force, but it doesn't have to be deliberately divisive. The police force is professional, we all believe that, but throwing tear gas bombs wouldn't be professional? Hong Kong has been peaceful for over a decade, for over a decade they have never been used once. If you haven't been in the kitchen for over a decade, you probably wouldn't dare to call yourself a head chef."

He also rebutted Ip Lau's weapon comment. If his daughter went out at night with plastic wrap and an umbrella, would her safety be ensured? Wong Tze Wah described that with the plastic wrap and umbrella preparation, even "salted duck eggs" could kill someone, not to mention tear gas bomb? Seeing the Mongkok violence and sexual assaults, Tze Wah said, "I would never imagine some people would be so blatant, obviously they are a group of organized people with background attacked some peaceful people. It was one matter whether they should occupy the streets, but getting hit for just sitting quietly? Obviously adults are hitting kids, Leung Chun Ying said that force had to be used against all those who used violence." He laughed and suggested for Leung Chun Ying to change the way he spoke to make everyone harmonious and rich. Tze Wa said, "The police is amateur at throwing tear gas bombs, protesters are also amateurs. Amateur against amateur, it was just a misunderstanding. Do you want to the protesters to retreat out of Mongkok? He could say, 'Mongkok isn't a place that normal children should go. My daughter hasn't been to Mongkok. Everyone is just looking for me, I am at Admiralty, come on!'"

Wong Tze Wah said that the incident made a group of "gods" that were not afraid of tear gas bomb or the mob, protesters who were immortal. They were even more amazing than the 1989 democracy movement human tank block. He admitted that earlier he went to the protest area for an understanding and did not feel like going home. They got free food and drink, when it was too hot people would throw water on them and even give them "cold compress" to lower their temperature. Even when he dropped their Octopus Cards someone would remind him. He was greatly touched. He said, "This proves that Hong Kong people's quality is courage, peace, kindness, as for future challenges, we have both benevolence and bravery. W are just waiting for wisdom to teach us a resolution."

As a "god" Wong Tze Wah has always given people an impression of a wanderer. Two nights ago he joked about the relationship between the sexes. He compared the difference between the sexes to "Diaoyutai Islands" and "Do Min-Joon". He even used his personal experience at a bar, funnily describing how HK women wanted to "capture alive" men, "chopping them up and let their blood out".

Tze Wa felt that the world had no companion with a score of 100, because love was just like stocks. Before you buy it its value keeps on going on, after you bought it it started to slowly lose points from 100. He felt that men and women were two completely different organisms, being together was the absurdity of humanity. Men would only think of "Protect Diaoyutai, capture Sora Aoi alive", with a wild hunt feeling. In women's hearts would only be MY LOVE FROM THE STAR's Do Min-Joon. He joked, "Do Min-Joon is a 400 year old alien, with a 400 year old intelligence. The most important he has 400 years of wealth. Even when he was so poor that he was only left with a bathroom glass, after 400 years it would become an antique. Do Min-Joon has the 400 year old maturity, the 17 year old face, the most important is he has super powers. In addition he can't be in contact with human fluids, otherwise he would suffer a stroke from just a kiss. Everyday with sexual relations is 100 points everyday."

Tze Wah revealed that one night he went to drink at a bar for stress relief. The women around him in less than ten seconds already gestured him for "sex". Their gestures were so direct that he thought he has mistakenly entered a "duck shop". He said, "Her gestures were like bringing me into the ring, wanting me to go for it. She wanted to test how much I got. Women aren't capturing them alive, they also wanted to chop men into pieces and let out their blood."

Aside from politics and sex, Tze Wah also had fun at the expense of stupidity of politicians, environmental protection and having a dog. He joked that Albert Ho Chun-Yan could use n iPad to check out bikini beauty photos at a finance meeting, truly getting both "money and sex". He said, "Politicians are the most calculating, they too face what they truly need and live in the moment." Tze Wah also turned into a puppy as he "humanized" the world according to a dog. He said, "I don't understand why dog funerals have to transcend the puppy. How can you transcend it into a higher class dog in the next life? Perhaps a myna would turn into a golden retriever and can retrieve items. Or the golden in the next life would become a Rottweiler, happy (lok), mighty (wai) dog girl (na). That isn't high class enough? Then in the next life you can become a rich woman, elegant enough, and even a male rich woman, both sexes in one." He played a dog in hopes of the performance would make everyone respect their pets.

Wong Tze Wah's stand up comedy not only had exciting content, his golden quotes were all the audience was after. When he said, "As the saying goes......." conceivably man viewers wanted to grab paper and pen to jot it down, in hopes of having a chance to use it in different occasions.

When the government resolves Occupy Central: "You have democracy, I have four fishes."

When plastic bag tax makes prices rise: "Only bastards use plastic bags, playing rich with a pile of tissues. When you are up to your eyebrows with work, you would have runny noses in all the heat."

When a sales clerk runs into a strange customer" "When you go to the mountain enough times you would eventually run into a tiger, when you try on enough clothes you would have to fix the butt."

When you cannot make your first bucket of gold no matter how hard you work. "The rich life starts at 1 billion yuan, but 1 billion to most people isn't a number in the world of the living, right?"

When youth fades: "Youth is not having anything other than time."

When you run into him/her at a night spot: "Love at first sight means loving someone you don't know."

When you are about to face a break up. "Sickness is just like breaking up, it has no concept of time."

When love fades: "Love is just like when you buy stocks. Before you buy its value keeps on going up, after you buy it slowly drops."

When you imagine you can have four wives. "All four are empty, or all four chests are big?"

Two nights ago at Wong Tze Wah's first performance was a "god" gathering. Francis Ng Chun Yu, Julian Cheung Chi Lam, Eason Chan Yik Shun, Leo Ku Kui Ke, Ronald Cheng Chung Kei and others were getting the spotlight on and off the stage. The gods even gathered for a group photo backstage. Chan Yik Shun made a mischievous pose to stand out between Cheung Chi Lam and Ng Chun Yu.

When Wong Tze Wah performed his version of EVERY NIGHT his key was too high and he almost went off key. After that he immediately said, "I really got into trouble for rarely singing. I started too high key I couldn't save it. (Joe) Chng King Kei why didn't you remind me?" Later at the audience hinting he finally realized that he misspoke, turning Cheng Chung Kei into Cheng King Kei. Tze Wah immediatley said, "I mean Roanld, Cheng Chung Kei, today I am sick!" He praised Ng Chun Yu for staying 24 forever, and also made fun of Chun Yu's version of the Patrick Tse Yin walk.